There was a time when I could see the world in your eyes. Small, reflective pools. Deep watercolor of imagined ideals. So, I stopped searching for God in other men. The grooves in your palms and the traction of your fingertips tracing cursive lines across the surface of my skin- felt like walking on the edge of the Earth. And your lips are the seaside.
This life is a mistake. I want to apologize for every breath I take. But you- you were supposed to save me. Carry me away and keep me safe safe safe. Now you come to my bedside in silence. Come to watch as I pass my nights fanned out, wingspan splayed across the mattress in mock crucifixion.
Sandmen and madmen in a raging turf war for my mind. And an apparition of you, hazy and uncertain, hanging like smoke in the corners of a dream. Conversations with you are one-sided confessionals at best. Hallucinogenic. Iridescent. A prismatic loneliness that settles over the miles and mess in between us.
PC Blue Beard- Ryu Eun Hye